Tuesday, December 04, 2007

7th Journey Hardcover - Request Only

Right now, I'm only accepting requests from individuals for an advanced Hard Cover copy of The 7th Journey - Book 1. The posting that I had up on Lulu was the original manuscript version, that I have given to friends and family. I've ordered a few copies for myself for demonstration purposes when speaking with industry professionals, such as agents or publishers, and for my own personal collection.

I am no longer offering advanced copies of the work to the public, and I have strict controls on the copies that I have distributed. This is because I'm continuing my task of finding a qualified agent to represent me in the U.S. market. This is quite a job in itself, but well worth the effort.

I will consider special requests for advanced copies of the manuscript, however the majority will have to wait for the Mass Market edition, which will hit shelves sometime in '08. I am open to questions or comments, that readers may leave on this site. I will respond to them as soon as I can. Thanks for reading.



Wednesday, November 21, 2007

Inevitable Dreams

"So many dreams at first seem impossible. And then they seem improbable. And then when we summon the will, they soon become inevitable." -- Christopher Reeve

So often in life, we've wished for things to come true. So often we've wondered how things come to be, for those who seem to get what they desire. I have often wondered this myself. I have often looked up to the sky, and wondered what it would take to get to the place that I've always longed to be.

Now I know.

It is the same for all of us... we all desire, and forever will desire to be in a better state than we currently are. Even those, who seem to be at the place, and have acquired the skills, knowledge, and experience that we've longed for... even those blessed souls, do in fact desire something more for themselves. And always will.

The contrast of our experience, in all facets of life, no matter where we are, will generate desire. For example. Take a person who is 'overweight', and contrasted against someone who is thin, this person may desire to lose weight. When we were young, and short, we desired to grow older, or to grow taller. The contrasting experience caused a desire to stir within us, that allowed us to grow up. I train martial arts, and contrasted with our Grand Master, I desire to fight like he does. All contrast in life, causes desire.

This birth of desire in our lives, gives rise to dreams. These dreams may seem impossible at first, but they are always... always achievable. No matter what you conjure up. The only contrast between those who achieve their dreams, and those who do not, is their perseverance, and will power.

The solution is simple (but not easy):

Contrast gives birth to desire. Desire gives birth to dreams. Dreams give birth to thought. Thought gives birth to belief. Belief and will power, will manifest your dreams.

Soon, the constant thought of your dream, the constant act of bringing it to you, through your natural vibration, and through the attracting power of your vibration... the universe will shift, and twist, and mold itself in away to bring you exactly what you've desired. So be careful what you wish for... and how long you wish for it... because it will surely come true.

This of course, is an example of desire / manifestation working the positive spectrum. It too can work in the negative, and does for most people who are unconsciously aware of the process. There is 'no such thing as no' in the universe. "I don't want to get sick!" gets you sick. "I don't want to get fat" gets you fat, "I don't want to be alone!" causes you to be alone. If you don't believe me... try it for yourself. But I'm sure by now, many of you have mastered manifestation in the negative. "I didn't want this in my life!!! Why is it here?!?!?" Because you wished it so.

This site, is a documentation of my own dreams, and my own path. This site shows, through my thoughts and experiences, my poems and letters, that I too have manifested something into this world. And that has been the most powerful journey of them all. And now I am ready to share it with all of you. Thanks for reading.

Robert J. Graham

Tuesday, November 13, 2007

The 7th Journey - Limited Edition - On Sale until Dec 1

For those of you that wish to purchase a hard cover copy of the 7th journey, then I suggest you do it this week or next, as I will be making the product “private” come December 1st, as I will be pursuing proper representation via agents, and will de-list the product from the internet.

I will be coming out with paper back versions of the book in the New Year for distribution to Editors, Agents, Publishers, and to have it on-hand during future meetings, but that is on the back burner right now, as the Hard Cover book will do. I am also awaiting some concept art work for the book cover, before investing the time and money into various copies of the paper back. Essentially I want to ensure that the cover is as I’d like it, before purchasing multiple copies.

Creating the hard cover version was also a good opportunity for me to test the waters of those around me, and to discern interest levels, and the reactions of the general populous. The feedback has been interesting, and I’ve realized a great deal from this first release of the book. I will continue my pursuit of agents, and publishers, and book deals in the New Year.

A copy of the Limited Edition Hard Cover is available here:


Thank you for your time, and interest.


Robert J. Graham

Thursday, November 08, 2007

7th Journey - Book Release Commentary (Hard Cover Edition)

The hard cover, and the download of "The 7th Journey - Book I", is apart of my overall strategy for obtaining large scale representation. Right now, this particular move through LULU Publishing, will allow me to have a copy of the book, in hand, and available for those who ask about it, this is until the large scale, advertising campaign begins.

The Hard Cover, is a high quality book, with cream inside pages, and a dust jacket. This can be autographed upon request. This book will be a stepping stone in process of getting proper representation from an Agent, and eventually a Big Name Publisher (e.g. Penguin books). I am currently in the process of obtaining proper representation, which will eventually culminate in a multi book deal, beginning with Book 1.

For those who are truly interested, Book 1 in Hard Cover format is a limited edition, and a collector's piece for fans of the story. I am extremely proud of this release, and I hope it is enjoyable by all who purchase a copy.

I will accept questions or comments via this forum, thank you very much!

Best Regards,

Robert J. Graham

Wednesday, November 07, 2007

The 7th Journey - The Auditum Trilogy - Book I

The 7th Journey - Book 1

I'm proud to announce that The 7th Journey - The Auditum Trilogy - Book I is now available in Hard Cover format. This book as taken me 3 years to produce. Many hours of research, writing, and passion came together to finish this book, and I'm pleased to release it to the public.

I will continue this site, and continue to discuss my ideas, present interesting concepts, respond to reader comments, and speak to the progression of my next project: The 7th Journey - Book II

Description of Book I:

Book 1 of The 7th Journey, sets the stage for the Auditum saga, The 7th Journey is the story of Robert whose curiosity and circumstance has landed him a position with Netex, a Canadian R&D firm. Robert is hired to discover the missing components of the Auditum technology, but discovers more than he bargains for through the death of his close friend. This sparks further investigation into the source of the technology, as its true purpose is still in question. The technology causes Robert to experience various realities, which bring his very sanity into question, as he develops several uncanny abilities, while his life unravels around him. As the experiments continue, he meets a mysterious woman from another dimension, who suggests that his true destiny is far greater than he has ever imagined. Coupled with the direction of a mysterious girl, an old wizard, and the last prodigal son of a Sufi religion, Robert gains new wisdom about himself, and the world around him, in preparation for what is to come.

Saturday, August 04, 2007

Accepting your Limitations

There comes a time where we all must accept our limitations. August is proving to be a very stressful month. At work, I'm in the midst of rolling out a major ITIL implementation of Change and Release management. I find that ironic, in context with my process experience, my desire to understand change, and my yearning to enable organizational development (business, cultural, or conceptual).

August is also the month where I will be heavily involved in Kung Fu workshops, where I will be advancing much further than I have in the past, by way of an intense 40 hour training week. Once this is complete, I will be well on my way to Mastery. This will then allow me to open up a studio, or take on many more students than I have currently. This training is not only physical, it trains you how to be a functioning and honest individual. Especially with yourself. Through accepting your limitations, you can understand how you can advance more quickly to another level, instead of imaging you are more than what you actually are.

In addition to this, I am also in the midst of personal / relationship complexities that allow me to delve deeper into the understanding of our cultural splits and dilemmas. This has expanded my heart, and my empathy for the individuals who suffer, not only with poor living conditions, but with misplaced trust, and limited understanding and struggle for advancement. This has been the most worth while study of my life, and only strengthens my resolve to assist those around me. Perhaps my series of books will make their way into the hands of these individuals to expand their perspectives, and alleviate their stresses. But first... I must lead by example.

The Journey Continues.

Monday, July 16, 2007

Ask Robert!

As a fun little exercise, and to generate more group involvement, I'm asking a favour of this small community. Challenge me. In an anyonymous posting I would like you to ask a question, and I will answer it. I will research your question, and come up with an answer for you, tailored to your situation, although phrased as to allow transferance to assist others in similar situations. What qualifies me to answer these questions? I will do the following in my responses:

- will relate back to Spiral Dynamics

- will relate back to Spiritual Philosophies

- will relate back to Process Methodologies (Kaizen, Six Sigma, PI Engineering)

- will relate back to NLP, Hypnosis

- will relate back to Kung Fu

- will relate back to Astral Dynamics

- will relate back to Psychology

Do you have questions any of the following?

- Psychics - Do they know what they are talking about? Is there something more to this?

- The Universe - Do you wonder why things happen the way they do? In your life, or in others?

- Life circumstances - Do you have a pressing issue, and you're concerned with how to move forward?

No holds barred, it doesn't matter what you ask, as long as it's sincere and in the spirit of the exercise. Ask the Guru! Your questions, can and will be the focus for articles in the coming months, so ask away!

Friday, July 13, 2007

Proposal... On the Way!

Currently, I've been spending much of my time working on the proposal for Book 1. It's harder than it seems. What is a proposal? It's a large (roughly 100 page) document, that describes the book, plot, market, genre, about the author, has comparisons to other (similar) books, and other various sections, that are essentially there to entice a publisher.

There are many things that go into a proposal... a great deal of research is required, and is currently under way. Much of it is already complete, and at this time, I'm roughly 60% of the way through it. I am also not doing it entirely alone. I have help (thankfully), because as much as I am a creative type, and as much as I like to write, that doesn't necessarily mean I can write marketing text. I've written the book, but can I sell it? That's a different process entirely, and I'm not so foolish to assume that I can do it all on my own. This proposal has to represent the best quality work that I'm able to produce... otherwise it will end up in the infamous "slush" pile, that so many other manuscripts have ended up.

At this time, I've decided that the proposal will be completed in the same fashion as book 1. On its own time, and it will take as long as it takes, to produce the quality that I'm looking for. For a time, I tried to track towards a project plan... but that proved difficult, as the entire team is made up of creative types... who don't normally like being held to timelines. I also didn't appreciate the process while going through it in that fashion... for the follow reasons:

- How many projects have I actually worked on that met their "Go Live Date?" - Zero
- How are the stress levels of individuals who track towards projects? High
- How does the process feel when tracking toward a plan? Laboured and difficult

The end result of that experience was me hating the proposal process. Now... I love it again! The syergy is back, the right people are available to help me, and the process continues. The first book was written in my spare time over a 2 years span. And for a book this size (400+ pages), that is quite good timing... as most first books take about 5 - 7 years to write. Because when I get in the groove, I really get into it, and produce like a mad man. So it's just a matter of when I feel the timing is right, and my mood is there, and the stress levels are low... and now, I'm back in the groove.

I estimate the proposal to be done by end of summer. At that time, various press releases will be sent out (probably over the summer), so stay tuned... a listing of local papers will be posted on this site, so you can catch a glimpse of my first public press release for the Trilogy. After which, I will be approaching various publishers in the fall.

Then my agent in New York will get involved, after an initial deal has been made with a publisher... and I'm off to the races. What does all this mean? I could be a full time author this time next year, and no longer will I need to work within the confines of a corporate world! My days and nights will be mine again, along with my energy and my creativity (during the 9-5). Where I can take things from there... only time will tell.

Most likely, I'll continue my journey in Mexico, writing and researching on a full time basis. Coming back up to Canada for 4 - 6 month intervals, to continue my education and training in my various realms of interest... (kung fu, psychology, spirituality, etc.) visiting friends, and family. The dream is becoming a reality, and now... the count down is only months away. Not years.

God bless, to all those who continue to maintain interest. You will not be disappointed, and you'll be getting some autographed copies as well! All the best, thanks for reading.

Sunday, July 08, 2007

Book I & II Update

I've been feverishly busy, working through various projects at work, and in my personal life, so updates have slowed as of late. However, that is not to say that progress has not been had. In fact, I can safely say that I'm more than 50% through the Book proposal for Book 1 of my trilogy. This document is essentially your entry point into the publishing world, and ends up being quite large once you're complete. I estimate around 100 pages of marketing text, research, comparative analysis and various other sections to give prospective publishers an idea of what this is about. Not only give them an Idea, but to entice them, and to help them see the value in what this could bring about, as a partnership and as well as the beginning of a new perspective.

It is hard to map the end date for the book proposals completion, as things like this take their time. You may have the best story in the world, but if you don't know how to market and sell it... you're not going anywhere and your manuscript will collect dust on a shelf. So this is the most crucial part of the process, and I've decided that it will be done when it's done. No more harsh dates to rush towards... as all good things come to those who wait... and do their homework.

Book II is now underway, and has officially begun. There are pages and pages of notes associated to this next installment in the series, but now it is just a matter of putting it all together and having the time to do so. As with the first book, Book II is calling to me, so I have no question in my mind that it will be complete. But I wonder if it will take the 2 years that Book I took? That all depends on the parallel work on the Book I proposal, and how quickly this can be marketed. If and when this series gets picket up, that will allow me to write my books full time, and to do what I really love... to be creative, and free to do so whenever and whereever I choose. Which is the God given right for all of mankind. And one day we will all get there. Thanks for continuing to Read.

ALSO *** Stay Tuned for the up coming Launch of my new Domains - geared solely towards The Trilogy. This will feature articles, sample texts, help on how to become an author, writing tips, and various other interesting goodies!

Tuesday, June 19, 2007

The one is three, the three are one

Balance. The ultimate state of being. But what do we seek to balance? Many of you who read these postings are most likely familiar with the concept of Mind, Body, and Spirit. But how many realize that all we have ever done is seek to improve one of the three, at any point in our lives?

Here are some examples. You may have an incredible body, that is in "perfect" shape, you may exercise 6 days a week, for 6 or 7 hours out of the day, or perhaps you go to the gym more than once a day. Perhaps this focus on mastering your body has been your all consuming purpose in life. For many that I've met in my life, that statement is true. Now what can be said of the minds of some of these people? Do they allow for proper time to refine their perspective on life, or perhaps to gain knowledge in other areas? What of their spiritual growth? Inevitably, without a balance within the mental, or the spiritual aspects of your being, an individual such as this may become conceited, high maintenance, or materialistic.

Likewise, an individual that spends their entire time researching, and studying metaphysics, or spirituality, may equally become unbalanced in their physical bodies. Perhaps neglecting proper nutrition, and exercise. They spend all of their time in the conceptual world of ideas, where none of them actually manifest (through the body), because they are too busy in the realm of fuzzy ideas. Without a balance in this area, an individual may become pias, or "holier than thou", without understanding the various perspectives of other life, and the value that can be obtained through empathy.

And finally, an individual who focuses strictly on knowledge, is incredibly lost. As there is an infinite field of knowledge that exists, but without the understanding of "principle concepts", no transference of ideas can be had from one subject matter to the next. So life becomes an effort in soaking up as much knowledge as possible... without realizing the difference between knowledge and understanding. These individuals may become unbalanced in their bodies, and their spirits, as their egos will most likely overcompensate. These professional students in life, often have difficulty applying knowledge, which is the method of wisdom. These individuals are often arrogant, as they feel that their various degrees in whatever subject matter gives them the ability or the right to look down on others. Again not realizing, or understanding the lack of balance in their lives.

What does this have to do with you? Take this scenario with the above three characters.

They all look into a mirror, and character 1 has the following to say:

"I have a great body, I look fantastic, but I feel self conscious about my education. Once this body goes, I will have nothing to fall back on."

Looking in the mirror, character 2 has the following to say:

"I have a deep understanding of all of reality, yet I cannot seem to pay the bills, and I cannot seem to lose the weight."

Looking in the mirror, character 3 has the following to say:

"I have several degrees, and I'm incredibly educated, yet my body seems to fail me at times, and I still seem unfulfilled (spirit)."

Now Imagine these three characters meet with each other, and all know each other. It wouldn't take long to understand that each may become envious of the other. Think of the additional processing power that could be freed up by your brain if you didn't have to think about correcting these core systems of your life. Think of how everything you'd do would be simply enhanced by the additional processing power of your mind, which no longer has to process (consciously, or unconsciously) your failings, or your unbalanced state.

You will naturally, whether you realize it or not, you will NATURALLY seek to balance these aspects of your core system. If your conscious mind does not play a role in this, then the balance will come in the form of life events... sometimes catastrophic. But thankfully, the smaller hints come first. As long as you're paying attention.

How does this affect you? Well speaking with my younger brother, on the balance of life, and the purpose of existence, I recommended that at his age, he should seek to ingrain the habits in his life and that young age, that would benefit him when he is older. When you're older, it is more difficult to break existing "bad" habits, so instead create habits when you're young that enable a balanced life style.


Physical: Sports, i.e. soccer, martial arts, basketball
Mental: Reading, courses, researching, writing
Spiritual: Music (guitar, piano, etc.), writing, yoga, meditation

Doing these things everyday, will balance you. Or you can find similar activities that enable your growth in all areas... commit these things to memory, develop daily (rituals) habits, and physically do these things. This will bring you into harmony, enhancing your entire life, allowing more growth in any industry or field of work, and bringing you closer to understanding yourself.

Saturday, June 02, 2007

Spiral Complexity

"The psychology of the mature human being is an unfolding, emergent, oscillating, spiraling process marked by progressive subordination of older, lower-order behaviour systems to newer, higher-order systems as man's existential problems changes." -- Dr. Clare W. Graves

What does this mean? These terms, evolution, complexity, problems, infinity, behaviours, ego... personality. Do they have meaning? And if so, what does it mean to you? As that is the only reality that exists. That which you are perceiving, right now. As I write this, reality exists in time and space, yet it too exists with you, the reader... here and now. How is it we are able to cross that boundary of time and space in such a way? Are there boundaries?

The native aboriginal people's of Australia, would say that the reality that seperates us from the departed, is as thin as a maple leaf. And now, modern quantum physicists say that they weren't very far off, in fact there is no separation.

But who cares right? Does this help me... here... and help me now? Is it practical you ask? Does this aid me in getting to my next goal... solving my next problem? Does it aid my life, in fact my process in anyway?

In reality... your reality, it does aid your life in anyway and everyday that you make it possible. An understanding of life is all that you've ever wanted. Because all you've ever wanted was to understand the world around you, since you were a toddler, running around and checking out all that the world has to offer, getting your bearings and taking in and building your reality from within. Building your definitions of pain and pleasure, from your first fall on the ground, to your first kiss, you're definitions of pain and pleasure have formed and evolved over time. And your motivation, now aims at these definitions of pleasure (and pain for some of you) as your life pattern unfolds, as you've designed it.

Limitations. What are they? Are they real, or are they false evidence appearing real... or FEAR. (cwg) What are these things that restrict us? These self imposed prison bars... these self defeating perspectives and world views... these pride filled restrictions on yourself and those around you. Why do they bog us down so? And why do we let them? What is it in our own insecurities causes such a lapse in judgment as to restrict the very goal of our existence and that is to experience ourselves.

Well I prose that our limitations are the root causes to all difficulties in life. The solution to all problems is very simple. Remove our limitations.

Spiral Complexity refers to the evolutionary spiral that is a road map of problems and potential problems, that need solving in order to advance and remove the limitations of your mind. Evolution is quite simple. You must engage a higher level of mind in order to solve the problems of your current state of mind. Why else would older people always seem more wise etc, because they've had more problems to solve! The more problems you attract, solve, and move through, the quicker you evolve. Now the type of problems can vary drastically, to the very simple in nature, to the extremely complex, ranging on a spectrum of positive (pleasure) or negative (pain) outcomes.

Subjective you say? Of course it is. All life is, as you are the subject. Try as you must to remove yourself to stay objective, it's a logically falacy, for how can you remove yourself from yourself, when you are the observer, and in fact the situation in its entirety. From the actors, to the environment, to the delemma, to the choices... and the consequences. You are the perspective of life, from a limited point of view.

How limited are you in your view? Consider this. You are one of roughly 7 billion people, that exist today, times all the animals, and all the insects, times all the birds, and all the plants and all the sea life, and all the cells of your body, and the cells in stones, or the dust of the stars... all conscious. All energy. All alive, with a unique point of view. Of course, to make this easier, just multiply this by infinity, and you'll roughly approach how many other perspectives and realities exist.

Science defines reality is that which is perceived by our 6 (actually many other senses exist when using the non-physical body.). What does this mean? It means that reality would not exist for you, if you had no way to ingest and digest the information being fed to you at all times. Our perspective is further limited, as other animals and creatures can actually see, and hear far beyond our normal human capacity, and I'm sure can sense far more as well. So what of their realities? Their realities are as they make them, and is but another demension, a different point of view on life itself. You are of this honoured breed, for if you've existed, you've always existed, and you always will. Because NOW is all there is, and now has no begining, nor end. That is what is meant by infinite. It just is. And you have always been sustained within this moment, as all life has, and as all life will. Yet... where on the evolutionary spiral are you? What is your threshold of complexity? How much awareness have you gained?

The answer will shock you.

Exactly as much as you needed to to bring you to this moment, the eternal moment. And that is all you need, and all you'll ever need. You are exactly as you are meant to be, and you always have been, and you always will. You will evolve one way or the other... consciously, or unconsciously... one is more pleasurable, the other more painful. You can do it with control of your emotions and behaviours, and without... experiencing the consequences of both, and it is all ok. For you are standing in a great hall... alone... without a judge... with simply the tools at your disposal to create without limitation. Love, pleasure, happiness, intellect, a magnificent human computer (brain), and we now exist at the bring of civilization... witnessing a rebirth of humanity through open and free sharing of information (internet), the likes of which mankind has never seen in history. It is time to take responsibility for our actions, and realize that if there is only one of us... there is no one to blame... and no one to judge. Only actions and consequences, what goes out, always comes back... be kind, be loving, for this is the only thing that sustains reality. Any reality, or it withers and dies.

Notice your climb on this human spiral of complexity, your latter up the scales of evolution... leaving lower level behaviours behind you, and experiencing life as it was meant to be. Fun, loving, peaceful, respectful... and free of limitation. Notice your definitions of pleasure and pain.. for your only motivation is pleasure, and it is never that you are not motivated, it is simply that you're motivated to do something else than you might seemingly need to at the time. You're still doing something, so you don't lack motivation. You lack direction and the knowledge to apply it properly by changing your definitions. Definitions are the building blocks of your perspective, belief system, and inevitably your reality, so learn how to change them. Here's an example... how would it change your life if you saw every... "problem"... as an opportunity for growth, abundance, or awareness?

Wednesday, February 28, 2007

Patience is a virtue

Thank you to everyone who continues to read this site, as I know it's been awhile since my last posting. January flew by quite fast, as my current role as a Process Consultant has kept me very busy, especially as I prepared for my trip to the Yucatan, Mexico. I went down to the Yucatan during the first couple weeks of February, and arrived back in Canada last Thursday (early morning). I spent the time since then, visiting with friends, recapping my experiences, and settling back into the fast paced life that we all must endure within these fine Canadian borders.

Every year, Mexico changes me in some way shape, or form. This time, I've regrown my beard, much the same way that Samson grew his hair to give him his strength, I have grown mine to remind me. Remind me that although Canada is probably the best place in the world to "be from", it is not necessarily the best place in the world to live. The culture shock I experienced was quite amazing actually. What I've noticed, is that everyone in the Yucatan is quite happy with what little they may have... more than quite happy actually... probably more happy than I've ever seen anyone here in Canada. They dance, they sing, they have fun, and they are genuinely happy with who they are, and where life has led them. They say "hola" to everyone, and they treat others with the utmost respect. The people there seem to be born without attitude for some reason, and none of them aspire to be the next American Idol... which is what I'm reminded of.. every time I walk down a populated Toronto street.

We've lost focus here in the North Americas... we've lost touch with who we are, and who we should be. Instead of peace keepers, we're now actively engaged... instead of helping our homeless, or educating our youths, or fixing our streets.... we syphon money out of our collective coffers, and it disappears into miscellaneous government slush funds that do nothing. We are no longer crying out for transparency within our government, instead - we are appeased by the lies that we are given.

It is not all that bad of course, but we are quite far from an ideal state. And it shocks me when traveling to a society that... although on the surface, they may not seem technologically advanced, they are far superior on a spiritual level. And the north views them much the same way the Europeans viewed the native Americans... as savages, that don't know any better. And so we try to bring them into the fold, with our products, and our services, and our ideals... when they've had it right all along... be kind... be loving... and want for nothing more than what you have. Where is that in our Canadian constitution?

But I'm patient either way... I know why I'm here, and I know where I'm going, but most importantly I know who I am. And if sharing my thoughts and perspective aids the lives of others... then great, if not... then I've accomplished at least one thing. I've reached a state of being where peace and love are the only things that matter. Even if others do not choose the same state of being, that is ok... as my state of being can only exist... if there are others who are not in the same zone.

The book proposal is being worked on currently, and I hope to have it complete over the next month or so. Although I didn't get as much work done in Mexico as I would have liked, I do now realize the more crucial parts of the process, and how to proceed. That is just as valuable, if not more so. And so... I'm patient, as I work towards completion of book 1 in its entirety, as that will allow me to move to a place where happiness, and family are the most important factors, and I can then live out the rest of my existance with those I care about, while I research and train the studies that interest me, which may one day help unite us all.